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Joke of the Day

"Anjelica Huston got married to the inventor of autocorrect and now her legal name is Ageless Ice Houseboat."

"A guy goes to the zoo but there is only one animal... It's a shih tzu."

"What city will Leo Dicaprio never visit ? Osaka."

"I bet Lorde is a gold digger She is a minor after all."

"Hipsters only listen to songs like Surfin' Bird by the Trashmen You've probably never heard of it."

"The Roomba vacuum cleaner just beat me to a piece of popcorn I dropped on the floor & this is how the war against the machines begins."

"What do you call an atheist cartoon? Fedora the explorer"

"""And remember to talk to everyone like they're a 3rd grader."" - flight attendant manual"

"Q.How many blonde's does it take to change a light bulb? A. 3. 1 to find the bulb 1 to find a ladder and 1 to find a man."

"""Honey, does this milk seem spoiled?"" *milk locks itself in its room til it gets an iPhone 6* ""Oh its just going thru a phase"""