47760

Joke of the Day

"Being football fans ... Why do all the trees in Wisconsin lean to the south ? Because Minnesota blows & Chicago sucks"

"I'm gonna make a proctologist training video based on the Shawshank Redemption The main characters name will be Andy Dufranus"

"Note to future self: Tequila is a liar. You do not sound exactly like Axl Rose & the people at karaoke will not catch you if you stage dive"

"What did the dough say to the baker? You, knead me."

"I heard Reese's is doing a monkey shaped chocolate bar now.. It's called a Reese's Macaque."

"- Dad, why don't we visit Greece to see pyramids? - Son, why don't we visit school to see your geography teacher?"

"A man woke up in a hospital. After a serious accident he shouted out, ""Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"" The doctor replied, I know you can't I've cut off your arms!"

"How did I sleep in college? I slept like a baby... I woke up every two hours to vomit, shit myself and cry myself back to sleep."

"What's one cracker plus two crackers. [257 Calories](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=What%27s+one+cracker+plus+two+crackers%3F)"

"What do gay zombies say? Heeeeyyyyrrrrrrraaarrrrrgggggg."