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Joke of the Day

"How did I sleep in college? I slept like a baby... I woke up every two hours to vomit, shit myself and cry myself back to sleep."

"What do you call it when you're run over by a German? Hunover."

"""Be cool, be cool, be cool"" ~me before I'm about to not be cool."

"Why did the funeral director cover his mouth? he kept coffin"

"First cannibal: My wife's a tough old bird. Second cannibal: You should have left her in the oven for another half an hour."

"i just saw a black girl rt one of those teenage girl accounts saying ""i honestly wish I was a teen in the 50's"".......... no u don't"

"A dying man looks up into his wife's eyes and says, ""Honey, before I go I have something I need to tell you."" To which she replies, ""I already know, dear. That's why I poisoned you."""

"Jesus take the wheel Carlos you take the stereo and I got lookout!"

"Lawyer Joke Thread Submit your favorite lawyer jokes!"

"Being married vs being gay: Either way you're going to have somebody stuck up your ass."