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Joke of the Day

"I'm gonna make a proctologist training video based on the Shawshank Redemption The main characters name will be Andy Dufranus"

"Who's the roundest knight at King Arthur's court? Circumference."

"Why is it quicker to build a snowman than a snowwoman? It takes too long to hollow out her head. (I got this one from my uncle)"

"If I start removing my earrings while maintaining eye contact, you're either in for the fuck of your life, or you'd better fucking run."

"How do ghosts like their chicken cooked? Terri-fried!"

"Why did the Skeleton cross the road? Question: Why did the Skeleton cross the road? Answer: To go to the body shop."

"We all know that light travels faster than sound. That's why certain people appear bright until you hear them speak."

"A recent survey asked 12 year old's what was their best accomplishment in 2015. 87 percent of them answered ""your mom"""

"If she runs away I will pursue her. But since she possesses superior footspeed and cardio I may have to borrow someone's bicycle."

"*Picks up extra virgin olive oil. *smirks* ""Not for long my friend. Not for long."""