47734

Joke of the Day

"I asked my English GF if I could have sex with her sister today She said you can't I said no you're a cunt!"

"everybody gets their 15 minutes of fame - so here's my first original joke! why is it impossible to surprise a snowman? .. he has ice in the back of his head"

"Short armed and dangerous. Did you hear about the mind reading midget that escaped from prison? The papers said small medium at large."

"Accidentally just told a girl that ""she has a nice head"" because I appearently have the flirting skills of a serial killer"

"I like my women like I like my milk Rich, white, and 2% fat."

"I can always determine how financially stable I am by how carelessly I press on the gas pedal."

"1. Sit in stall of a crowded bathroom. 2. Whisper, ""Oh no, not again..."" 3. Slowly pour a large bucket of milk onto the floor."

"Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds Poor bastard"

"Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don't have a moon where I live."

"I was told that Microwaves were invisible But I can see mine on my counter. Is mine broken?"