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Joke of the Day

"I can always determine how financially stable I am by how carelessly I press on the gas pedal."

Next Joke
 
"I need a bad ass dress for Friday night. Anybody know where I can find a Forever 41?"
"What did Clint Eastwood say before firing up the ceramic bowl he made in pottery class? Go ahead, bake my clay. *walks away slowly*"
"What do you call a bunch of unicorns? A unicornucopia."
"If you don't like the idea of wiping someone's ass in the middle of eating a delicious meal, you probably shouldn't become a parent."
"Alcohol is our worst enemy Good thing Jesus taught us all to love our enemies."
"Why did the ""M&M;"" go to university? He wanted to become a ""Smartie"""
"Don't give karma whores a butter joke... ...they might spread it"
"How to stop pedophilia worldwide? Kill all the children."
"I'm glad chocolate bars come with resealable packages, so I can eat half now, and the other half 1 minute from now."