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Joke of the Day

"everybody gets their 15 minutes of fame - so here's my first original joke! why is it impossible to surprise a snowman? .. he has ice in the back of his head"

"I touch myself when I think of you. It's a facepalm, but I am thinking of you."

"What happened when Justin Bieber went to Michael Jackson's house? Nothing, Michael liked boys."

"A bottle washes on shore with a note inside it: ""Go swimming, the water's great! And there's no sharks! P.S. this wasn't written by a shark"""

"Both my son and daughter love reddit. That must mean it's heredditary."

"Commas are the coolest punctuation, because they're like ""Yeah, you haven't got time to stop, but you can chill for a little bit."""

"Why can't horses vote? 'Cause their answer is always 'nay'. I'm sorry, I'll leave..."

"The court has decided you guilty of clickbait and has sentenced you to death by the electric chair... ... What happens next will shock you"

"One time I had a boss who called me while he was in the bathroom, and then he accidentally peed on himself, so sometimes good things happen."

"What do you call 2000 mockingbirds? 2 kilo mockingbirds"