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Joke of the Day

"""People will believe anything if you whisper it."""

"JELLYFISH: *to friend* Want to see something disgusting? Watch this. *stings person* FRIEND: That wasn't dis... JELLYFISH: Wait a minute."

"Today somebody called me a model! Well they said ""poster boy for birth control"", but I knew what they meant."

"Which is the worst career choice? Dentistry in Britain? Nutritionist in the Midwest? North Pole stripper during an antifreeze shortage?"

"I was doing manual handling training at work today. I've been picking it up really well."

"What difference does an ""A"" make? Between NASA and NSA--it's astronomical."

"Pretty sure Brazil has an enormous wax museum."

"I don't think so, people who are thinking so."

"I feel like all bears are Bad News Bears. I've never seen a bear and was like ""Oh, he looks like he has good news for us, lets stick around"""

"If Atlas supported the world on his shoulders who supported Atlas ? His wife !"