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Joke of the Day

"I don't think so, people who are thinking so."

"I didn't know what to do with all the gifts my ex gave me. So I took antibiotics until they went away."

"-Trump's top agenda for his first 100 days in office : make everyone use ""bigly"" in conversations so he doesn't look like a fool for being the only one who uses this word ."

"My wife's posted picture she took of me in the shower didn't go viral... Ain't no big thing."

"*installs google translate* *looks at Arabic tweets for jokes to steal* *finds half my tweets doing better than mine*"

"Why is Forrest Gump as a young boy without his leg braces like a Samurai without a master? Because everywhere he went, he was Ronin! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'll see myself out..."

"Mom: I'm worried you might end up alone. nMe: Don't worry mom, do you know how many followers i have???nMom: ... ( Worried face)"

"When I die, I want to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather Not screaming, like the people in his car"

"What's the best was to piss off an archaeologist ? Hand him a used tampon and ask him which period it's from."

"When is the best time to see a dentist? Tooth-Hurty"