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Joke of the Day
"How do you know if someone is a socialist? Don't worry, they'll tell you."
Next Joke
"I asked a magician, ""Can you pull a rabbit out of a hat?"" ""No, but I can pull a hare out of my ass"" - (More effective told out loud) :P"
"What do you get when you kiss a canary? Chirpes. It can't be tweeted because it's a canarial disease."
"What did the bus conductor say to the frog? Hop on."
"If these seasonal allergies don't kill me, that person I just sneezed all over probably will."
"Knock Knock Knock knock ""Who's there?"" ""The pilot, let me in."""
"14 year old me would be shocked to learn that knowing every word to Billy Joel's 'We didn't start the fire' has done nothing for our career."
"What's the difference between a cunt punch and fisting? pants"
"What mysterious hair product does Lucifer use to keep himself looking good? Arcane-gel!"
"What do you call a 20 year old spaceship that whines all the time and never wants to run properly? The Millenial Falcon."