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Joke of the Day

"Salesman: Would you like to buy a pocket calculator? Customer: No thanks. I know how many pockets I have."

"Chanting ""I'm not creepy"" in front of a mirror doesn't make you feel any less creepy."

"Did you hear the one about the woman who couldn't handle a 9 inch dick? She had a metric pussy."

"How do you catch an Elephant? Dig a hole, fill it with ashes, and line the outside with peas. So when the Elephant comes to take a pea, you can kick him in the ash hole."

"I had this great joke about Thor... but thinking about it now, it's actually really low key."

"I can't believe after all this shit they're still together! Our ass-cheeks really deserve some respect."

"How warm is the inside of a tauntaun? Luke warm"

"If a family's last name is Smear, do the kids call their grandpa Pap Smear?"

"It concerns me as a parent that damn near every Disney movie shows kids if your parents die you'll become royalty and have a great life."

"How do shellfish get high? At a clam bake"