197623

Joke of the Day

"How do you catch an Elephant? Dig a hole, fill it with ashes, and line the outside with peas. So when the Elephant comes to take a pea, you can kick him in the ash hole."

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"if you can't handle me at my worst, you're probably that gutless Outback Steakhouse shift manager who called the cops on me last night"
"A pirate's wife asks him what body part he'd be most okay with losing The pirate thinks and replies, ""my spine!"" ""Why?"" says his wife, a little surprised ""Because it's holding me back!"""
"Just cause you have 9 lives doesn't give you the right to show it off and run across a busy street....fucking cats."
"If at first you don't succeed Skydiving may not be for you"
"What do we want? -SHITTY MUSIC COMPILATIONS! When do we want them? -NOW! THAT'S WHAT I CALL MUSIC"
"If you feel like someone is playing mind games with you, they totally are and you should kill them before they kill you."
"I eat my poo joke Knock knock...Who's there? I eat mop...I eat mop who?"
"What is the volume of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? One US Leader"
"I could live in this house for a million years and still second guess which switch is for the garbage disposal every time."