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Joke of the Day

"A guy in Hawaii survived a shark attack while surfing by punching the shark in the face and I get scared to take a shower if I see a spider."

"Have you heard about the man with no dick ? he came outta nowhere"

"Ok I just started watching House M.D.:nn1 Does everyone gang up and beat House's other leg?n2 does a rival Token come in to challenge Omar?"

"What sentence is vastly shorter after you remove one word from it? Child porn"

"Mr Clause caught Mrs Clause cheating on him. What a ho ho ho."

"I just want 5 minutes alone with the person who thought it was a good idea to put little plastic stickers on every piece of fruit"

"I'm a club photographer, I take pictures at the club and people pay me to delete them"

"I just found a fruit roll-up in my pocket That means one of my kids has a grape flavored blunt rap in their lunch box."

"If you play Stairway to Heaven backwards does it become Highway to Hell?"

"Sometimes a family is walking towards you taking up the entire sidewalk and you have no choice but to just become part of that family."