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Joke of the Day

"my favourite position is 68 you do me, and i'll owe you one."

"What's the best thing about being a necrophiliac? You don't have to bring the flowers."

"What did the cucumber say to the salad? Nothing. (It's a cucumber. (They don't talk.))"

"I keep graphic, full frontal nude pictures of myself on my cell phone in case anyone ever hacks it. That'll teach 'em. Can't unsee that."

"Why do Vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat? Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don't like where real meat comes from."

"No, actually I hate gambling, that's why the dice on my shirt are on fire. If I see someone start to gamble I'll burn up his gambling dice."

"So Russia has been running out of resources lately... I guess you can call them the Red Scarce."

"Congrats to Ohio State, you didn't have the worst performance of the evening... ...Mariah Carey's got your back."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question. Feminists can't change anything."

"Well Officer..we didn't have a bottle so that dead guy over there.. ""Him?"" No the other dead guy..suggested ""Spin The .44""..And I WON!"