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Joke of the Day

"[confessional] me: father, gooey naan. father: what's gooey naan? me: nothing much. what's goin' on with you?"

"Having no tattoos in 2014, is like having tattoos in 1967."

"how is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying."

"They say parrots don't like change... So you could that they are very right-winged."

"The best person to get thrown in jail with would have to be the Kool-Aid Man."

"Why did the ghosts haunt the bar? For the boos."

"Where did little Suzzie go after the explosion? Everywhere."

"Why should you never watch a movie with a generous Nascar driver? He might give away spoilers!"

"why do philosophers love the ocean so much? because it's deep!"

"Me: ""I'm trying to type the word 'fucking.'"" My iPhone: ""Huh? Surely you mean 'ducking.'"" Me: ""No, I mean 'fucking'."" My iPhone: ""Bullshot."""