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Joke of the Day

"Did you know? Accordion to a recent study, 90% of the world don't realise when a word has been swapped with an instrument."

"Prostitute+McDonalds Going to Mc'Donalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug."

"What do you call a cheap circumcision?? A rip off"

"I make the stupidest excuses just to skip the gym. *burns tongue while drinking coffee* ""Oh no! I really wanted to go to the gym today!"""

"My friend told me he wanted to find the electrical resistance of Jesus. I was like ""Ohm my God!"""

"Facilitator: Any questions about the sexual harrassment course before we start? *raises hand* Me: Is ""harass"" one word or two? F: Me: Thx"

"Helen Keller walked into a bar And a table, and a chair"

"What did the spaceman see in his frying pan? An unidentified frying object."

"[rap battle] Opponent: *crushes it* Me: Oh, I... umm. I thought this was something else... *hastily hides plastic wrap behind back*"

"""Space heater"" is a pretty ambitious name. How about ""shin warmer?"""