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Joke of the Day

"Thought of this the other day as a 22 y/o... How do you win the vegetable race? You need to get ahead of lettuce"

"Why did cavemen drag their women around by the hair? Because if they dragged them by the ankles, they'd fill up with muck."

"The pimp hand... Strong enough for a man, made for a woman."

"Kim Kardashian was robbed of her jewellry in Paris. The robbers had a tip off that she had lots of booty."

"When I grow up and have kids... I think I will stay a virgin to set a good example."

"Is Rick Moranis dead? or just his career?"

"How do you seat four gay men on a bar stool? Flip it over."

"What is a rocket's favorite meal? Launch! Another one from my 9 year old."

"It's only been a few days, but I'm starting to forget everything I knew about Mitch Romley."

"I could never be a politician because every time it was my turn to talk in a debate, it would start off with ""Listen you f*cking prick."""