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Joke of the Day

"Why are fried onions like a photocopy machine? They keep repeating themselves."

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of it's paws, a comma has a pause and the end of it's clause."

"I like my coffee how I like my ladies Strong, black, and preferably fair trade"

"Whats a sign a subreddit has strong moderation? [removed]"

"Morrissey has cancer I know, I know, it's serious."

"[watching lion king] TIMON: hakuna matata ME: *whispering to date* that means no worries TIMON: it means no worries ME: see?"

"So my close friends kid wanted to be Batman. So a murdered his parents after giving them tickets to the opera. He doesn't seem so keen now."

"A blonde has a BS in Science... Bullshit, isn't it?"

"Before twitter I would walk into a room and forget what I went in there for. nnNow, I don't even walk into the right room"

"Knock knock. Who's there? Beats. Beats who? Beats me."