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Joke of the Day

"""Grab a Pop Tart!"" I tell my kids as I'm mixing up the dogs' breakfasts of organic, grain-free dog food with Greek yogurt and $85 vitamins."

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"How many ska kids does it take to change a light bulb? Three; one to drop the bulb and two to yell ""pick it up pick it up!"""
"Why do woman have legs? So their feet don't smell like pussy."
"My first ever degree... ...is in measuring angles!"
"What type of blood does a keyboard have? Typo."
"Invisibility You just don't see it these days"
"Your body is a temple. Mine is a graveyard."
"i have a very sore throat & your suggestion of a shot of whiskey only helped in the way that i no longer care about my extremely sore throat"
"What did the lunatic vacuum cleaner salesman say to his son before murdering him? Dyson."
"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll add to the global overdepletion of the oceans. So just give him the fish."
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