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Joke of the Day

"to discover what's going on with justin bieber we caught up with his manager scooter braun, who is named after two different types of razors"

"I name photos of me stroking animals in files called ""Fireworks and big dogs.jpg"" so my cats won't find them on my computer."

"I punched a drug addict in the face. I guess I beat the crack outta him. (The best joke I have ever made up.)"

"Literally The Best Joke Ever. The Best Joke Ever."

"Said this at dinner last night. Bit creepy, but laughs were had. ""He may die a virgin but he ain't gonna be buried one."""

"A guy buys some condoms... A guy is buying a box of condoms at the store. After paying the clerk, the clerk asks him ""Do you want a paper bag with that?"" He replies, ""Nah, she's not that ugly."""

"Scratching my head trying to recall... What was the name of that hair salon next to the graveyard? I've got it! It's called ""Curl Up and Dye."""

"Chinese takeaway - 17 Delivery charge - 1 Realising the idiots have forgot one of your containers - Riceless"

"A skeleton walks into a bar.. Something something beer and mop.."

"Son:Dad, what is 'creeping inflation'? Father:It's when your mother starts out asking for new shoes and ends up with a complete new outfit."