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Joke of the Day

"A guy buys some condoms... A guy is buying a box of condoms at the store. After paying the clerk, the clerk asks him ""Do you want a paper bag with that?"" He replies, ""Nah, she's not that ugly."""

"When that guy has sex with his wife on a motorcycle he's ""cool."" When I do it I'm ""absconding with the cadaver."""

"My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale... I gave her some bread crumbs and left her in the forest."

"Did you know the first baseball game was held in the Garden of Eden? Eve stole first, Adam stole second, and Abel struck out."

"Those Valentine's Day displays at the entrance of every store are like surprise parties for your loneliness."

"So America won gold for shooting in the Olympics. No suprise there."

"A Goat walked into a bar, and the bartender said WTF is a Goat doing in here? the end"

"I've never vaccinated any of my kids... I just pay the pediatrician to do it."

"How did the Jew get a free cab ride? He blew the shofar."

"A pedo, an alcoholic, and a priest walk in to a bar. And that's just the first guy."