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Joke of the Day

"A hooker has sex with a leper... he said ""keep the tip."""

"You shouldn't judge people. What if that bloke outside your window with a clown mask and knife is just a chef that lost his way."

"I wouldn't say I ""missed"" your call."

"I Like Long Walks on the Beach until the LSD wears off and it turns out I'm dragging a mannequin around a Wendy's parking lot"

"The mother of all Dad jokes. Dad: *Picks up caterpillar* I'll name him Hans! Person: ""Why?"" Dad: ""Because he's got lots of Hans!"""

"ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking please keep your seatbelt on as we--OH MY GOD [plane flies into a giant baby mouth]"

"being a writer is a great job if you love looking at a blinking cursor and wishing you were dead."

"What did the deaf, dumb, blind, amputee kid get for Christmas? Cancer."

"Eat 70,000 small meals each day to keep your metabolism going strong."

"If you managed to figure out the code to someone else's luggage... Could you say you solved the case?"