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Joke of the Day

"Why is it so quiet when pterodactyls use the restroom? Their P is silent."

"""I trust my boyfriend, I would never go thru his phone"" -girls who can't figure out boyfriend's passwords"

"""Settle down. You can play Whac-a-Mole when the man with the neck tattoo uses up his tokens."" Chuck E Cheese is such a special place."

"There's lots of reasons to shave your pubic hair as a man... Because it was longer than my dick is apparently not as popular of a reason as I thought."

"There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence... As he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well, that's a little condescending."

"Tianjin's disaster could have been prevented... After all, the experts have warned us that China's population might explode."

"What is Victoria's Secret? 'Her' real name is Victor!"

"Two cows and a cat were going on a trip. Cow A: Do we go this way with the cat? Cow B: The cattle go this way, we shall go the udder way."

"I've been married to my wife for 20 years this week.. I've been married to my wife for 20 years this week and I've finally found the G Spot.. Turns out her sister had it all along."

"Billy Mays so good He once sold pain to Chuck Norris."