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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven"

"In choosing clinical logic and detached isolation over laughter and passion, you went full-Vulcan. Everyone knows you never go full-Vulcan."

"*takes long drag from cigarette* *stares off into the distance* *slowly glances down at hand* *lights cigarette*"

"To the woman who keeps pounding on my door at night, I'm not letting you out!"

"I tried telling my friend from down south how becoming blood brothers works. He couldn't understand the concept because they were all related already."

"Why did Simba's father die? He couldn't Move Fasa"

"What's Obama's Favorite TV Show? Game of Drones"

"My doctor said I can't lift more than ten pounds... Can you help me pee?"

"A man didn't like his haircut But it started to grow on him"

"If people who made meth called themselves methematicians it would probably be a more respected occupation."