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Joke of the Day

"The Aluminati's plan... was foiled once again."

"Have you seen my cat? I saw a poster today, somebody was asking ""Have you seen my cat?"" So I called the number and said that I hadn't . I like to help where I can."

"I like my slaves like I like my coffee. Free."

"Why are iPhones' batteries not called apple juice Because they don't have enough juice in them ^Explanation: ^circlejerk ^on ^iPhone's ^battery ^running ^out ^fast don't kill me pls, i love apple ^yay"

"What do you call having sex with someone with herpes? *A bumpy ride*"

"Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs."

"Why do farts stink? So the deaf can enjoy them too."

"Instead of taking The ""N"" word out of Huckleberry Finn, take it out of the brains of millions of bigots."

"Don't tell me you love weddings, you love open bars."

"I assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late."