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Joke of the Day

"What does a Chicago cop say after emptying his clip into a fleeing suspect? ""Stop. Police."""

"When a cop asks if you know why they pulled you over, smile, take their hand in yours and say, ""Sounds like somebody needed a friend"""

"I have a rather unique talent. You can give me any girl's name and I know a song for that name. Try me!"

"I'm allergic to bears. One bear bite & it's straight to the ER for me."

"The Americans are aiding Ukraine in their war against Russia. Their new, revolutionary strategy is to clog the Russians arteries. They call it *Operation* *Dunkin'* *Donetsk*."

"Some of my co-workers want to go hang out tonight. Trying to figure how to fake my death and still make it into work tomorrow."

"Rattlesnakes and Condoms ...two things I don't fuck with."

"PAROLE BOARD: And what would you do if released? ME: Crimes. PB: Excuse me? ME: *leans into mic* RHYMES. I'M SUPER INTO POETRY NOW."

"The Millionaire by Ivor Fortune"

"I like my coffee how I like my women Forgotten about in the kitchen"