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Joke of the Day

"Why should you tell bad jokes to cocaine addicts? Because they'll crack up anyways"

"I got my girlfriend the perfect Valentine's Day present today. Hand lotion."

"Commas are important. They are the difference between: You suck, Dick! and You suck dick!"

"What's the deal with lampshades? If your gonna turn on a light... Why shade it."

"Paula Deen should create her own brand of butter called I Can't Believe It's Not 1860."

"I'm allergic to Everclear. It makes me break out.. Into handcuffs."

"Want to hear a good boxing joke? Fuck you."

"My Boss asked me to put two pieces of wood together... I nailed it! My friend Steve figured I would of screwed it up."

"My parents are both bisexual, but I never really felt loved or wanted around the house. I guess I am a bit of a by-product."

"Obama keeps trying to get me to kiss this top secret document from Syria but I keep telling him I'm not the kinda guy who'll kiss intel"