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Joke of the Day

"Another night, another chance to put a flaming skeleton outside a little girl's window and then hide it when she tries to show her parents."

"Every Liam Neeson movie now is just him talking on the phone then killing people, right?"

"What book do you like the most? Woman: ""My husband's checkbook."""

"How can you tell when the stage is level? The drummer is drooling equally from both sides of his mouth."

"Nothing makes a friendship more awkward than saying ""Cute doggie"" and realizing it's their kid"

"Did you park the car in the garage? Wife arrives back home. Husband asks her: ""Did you park the car in the garage?"" She responds: ""Partly"""

"Why couldn't the lizard have any children? It had a reptile dysfunction!"

"What do you call a Muslim father who works at a supermarket? a Baghdad"

"What did one plant say to another when it dropped its camera into the sea? ""Photos-in-the-seas!"""

"What's the difference between a toilet seat and dinner? Dad doesn't piss all over his dinner. :D"