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Joke of the Day

"Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents named him Sudden Lee."

"I like my women like I like my presidents... Dead and illicit."

"What is the difference between a feminist and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after three periods!^I^will^see^myself^out^now"

"Whiny prostitute Why did the whiny prostitute feel she really needed to buy a house? So she could finally feel comfortable telling her parents she was a ho' moaner."

"I'll take a Clooney, and 2 Upton's please. Turned to my wife and said, ""Amazon is buying Twitch for 1 billion. She said ""the dancer?"" . . yea hun, the dancer."

"Velcro. It's a rip off."

"I had long suspected a rival robot lumberjack of stealing my wood So I checked its log files."

"Apocalypse cheese I bought some apocalypse cheese. It said best before the end."

"Where should you drown a hipster? In the mainstream."

"you really have to admire brits who voted to leave They were so worried about immigrants ruining their economy than they preempted it by doing it themselves."