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Joke of the Day

"Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter? A: Jimmy Carter waited until after the inauguration to break his promises."

"Are designated drivers only for people who drink?? Coz I've already dropped my keys twice just walking to my car."

"I'm not sure what I did wrong but the pile of LEGOs left on the bath mat while I was in the shower seems like some kind of threat."

"How is being a Jew like eating a burrito? It's really not a problem until they give you gas."

"How to stop an unwanted DM. Hi, how are you? Me: Well, my ex has me on a wanted list because I'm a psychotic cow, how are you?"

"Best Way to deal with High School Bullies: Grow up to be smarter, richer and better looking than them and then add them on Facebook."

"Why did the man put a dead tiger on his lawn? To scare off Cat burglars!"

"Why is Halloween a hillbilly's favorite holiday? Because they like to pumpkin. I'll see myself out..."

"What would Abraham Lincoln say if he found out there was a movie about him slaying vampires? What's a movie?"

"do you think the guy who designed hand grenades really hated pineapples, or really loved them?"