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Joke of the Day

"Mummy Monster: What are you doing with that saw and where's your little brother ? Young Monster: Hee hee ! He's my half-brother now!"

"I love Halloween because I can buy 9 bags of Snickers and everyone thinks I'm going to pass them out to kids."

"Did you hear about the policeman who arrested the two boys, one who had a battery in possession and the other a firework? He charged one and let the other off."

"[first date] HER: I like a man who can show his true feelings. ME: *leans in close* I don't care what you like."

"What do Donald Trump and the NSFW tag have in common? They're both excellent clickbait."

"Why was the Amish girl shunned? Too Mennonite."

"Son: ""I got expelled"" Dad: ""How?"" Son: ""I wrote 2 + 2 = 41 on the whiteboard."" Dad: ""That's pretty dumb but-"" Son: ""Then my teacher told me to go up to the board..."" Dad: ""Ok?"" Son: ""And rub 1 out."""

"What does a midwestern farmer and a rapper have in common? They both want to make it rain."

"A physics student asked her professor to describe what happened right before the Big Bang... ....but the professor couldn't, because there was no time."

"No one is more shocked that I brought my cat to a baseball game than my cat."