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Joke of the Day
"Copper wire was invented by two Jews fighting over a penny."
Next Joke
"""Your present is too big and weirdly shaped to wrap. Oh! What if I buried it in the yard?!"" -me, genuinely, earlier today. Wife said no."
"Don't call me ""Dad"", please call me by my professional title, ""Half-Eaten Food Connoisseur Broken Toy Engineer Butt-Wipeologist""."
"A communist a spy and a chinese walk into a bar He orders a drink."
"When Egypt had no internet, it was called Gypt."
"Why are Wendy's burgers so good? Because they don't cut corners."
"Donald Trump wants to build a wall along the Mexican border but he wants them toupee."
"Taking a picture of your meal before you eat is the new ""saying grace."""
"Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist? A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from."
"[infomercial] ME: wanna know how to lose 15 lbs with 1 easy trick?! AUDIENCE: YES! *a surgeon amputates my leg right there on stage*"