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Joke of the Day

"[infomercial] ME: wanna know how to lose 15 lbs with 1 easy trick?! AUDIENCE: YES! *a surgeon amputates my leg right there on stage*"

"Q: What's the best language to describe the hectic holiday shopping season? A: Russian"

"I just saw a guy put deodorant on before walking into an adult bookstore. I kinda want to date him now."

"I spend a lot of time thinking about you and how you were pretty much good with everything. By you I mean Nutella."

"The village people asked all the wrong questions I mean... Why not MCA?"

"What do you call a guy who works out regularly? Jim."

"Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell."

"Happy 10th birthday to your dating profile pic."

"My wife is like a grape She lets out a little whine."

"The toilet at a police station was stolen! They had nothing to go on.."