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Joke of the Day

"How many teenage mutant ninja turtules does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five. It's a huge problem."

"Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects? They were looking for the ark tick."

"Q: Why did God create man before woman? A: He didn't want any advice."

"The problem with rich people is you're not one of them."

"Why did the germ cross the microscope? To get to the other slide!"

"[starbucks] me: can i take some wifi home with me? barista: um. sure(?) me: [holds tupperware container in the air & closes lid] thanks."

"What do you call a nun that is going for a walk? A roamin catholic"

"The drunker I get, the more dance moves I know."

"Do you brush your teeth without making a mess like in the commercials? Because I usually look like I have minty fresh rabies...."

"""I'm tired of you pushing me around and talking behind my back."" ----people in wheelchairs probably"