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Joke of the Day

"How many teenage mutant ninja turtules does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five. It's a huge problem."

"A motorist was pulled over by a traffic cop. ""Excuse me, sir,"" said the cop. ""Do you realize your wife fell out of the car two miles back?"" ""Thank God,"" he said. ""I thought I'd gone deaf!"""

"Yesterday CNN reported that ""sitting will kill you, even if you exercise"" and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but living will kill you."

"How many black people does it to pave a driveway? One. You just have to spread him real thin."

"Does the baby have access to my ribs? It feels like they're bars and she's an old timey prisoner with a tin mug"

"How long did it take for the police to catch the man running in his underwear? It was a brief chase..."

"How did rich people get their money? They were calm and collected."

"Inflation joke Due to inflation, a picture is now worth only 436 words. Thanks obama."

"What kind of furniture do pigs like best? Overstuffed."

"""I'm dreaming about mashed potatoes"" Oh because Thanksgiving is tomorrow ""No, just a normal mashed potato dream like usual"""