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Joke of the Day
"Every time I wear a suit I hear the same five words. ""Will the defendants please rise"""
Next Joke
"Accidentally triple-knotted my laces so I guess I'm wearing these shoes for the rest of my life."
"I have an addiction to snorting powdered fruit drink mix... Anybody got a punch line?"
"Why do midgets giggle when running through a field? The grass tickles their balls as they run."
"A mushroom... A mushroom walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. The bartender walks over and says ""Hey, we don't serve your kind here!"" To which the mushroom replies ""Why not, I'm a fungi!"""
"Procrastination is like masturbation: it is fun and feels good but in the end you've only fucked yourself."
"The Black Eyed Peas are to music what actual black-eyed peas are to music."
"I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey. But I turned myself around."
"What is worse than being kidnapped by the Talibans? Being rescued by the Americans"
"Did you hear the one about the statistician? Probably"