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Joke of the Day
"I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey. But I turned myself around."
Next Joke
"What do Hurricane Matthew and Kim Kardashian have in common? They'll both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV"
"I came across the most beautiful girl i've ever seen today at the supermarket.. She wasn't the least bit happy, even after I offered to clean it all up and buy her a new top.."
"I respect older people because they made it through school without Google OR Wikipedia."
"In the Phoenix airport & I just heard a guys laptop say ""you've got mail"". Pretty sure I've landed in 1998."
"Toy idea: Remote control car that you can sit in & control from the inside."
"Have you heard the one about the three holes in the ground? Well well well..."
"During sex im like a high energy photon hitting the Earth's atmosphere... I come fast and dont penetrate very far! ... ayyyyy!"
"Her: You like shopping? Me: Oh god yes! Her: What's your favorite place? Me: The grocery store. There is a whole aisle of just cheese!"
"Three part joke Why did the kid fall out of the tree? I shot him Why did the second kid fall out? I stapled them together Why did the third kid fall out? Peer pressure"