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Joke of the Day
"Accidentally triple-knotted my laces so I guess I'm wearing these shoes for the rest of my life."
Next Joke
"How many white teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb ...none they would rather sit in the dark (im white teenage and mean no harm in this joke)"
"Husband: Let's try a different position tonight. Wife: That's a good idea. You stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
"Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field"
"What does the twin towers and genders have in common? There used to be two and now it's offensive to talk about."
"How many Chinese men does it take to make a Smartphone? I dunno, ask the Kids."
"What is a dog's favourite sport ? Formula 1 drooling !"
"I lost my watch at a party once... Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the guy, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl...not on my watch."
"They're not all brilliant, but they're all mine. Meaning my tweets, and maybe my kids, whatever."
"Woah! I can move stuff with my mind. Like, my legs."