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Joke of the Day

"Procrastination is like masturbation: it is fun and feels good but in the end you've only fucked yourself."

Next Joke
 
"Life is one long earthquake for those tiny dogs who are always shaking."
"My mom told me if she sees me on Reddit again she will smash my face to the keyboanfiauoprfh8u89puqeiofjrjr89qp"
"Did you hear the one about three Scotsmen who walk out of a bar? It could happen.."
"What is the worst thing about dating a Japanese girl? You have to drop da bomb on her twice"
"Bee jokes, courtesy of my niece (age 8). What did the bee use to dry off after swimming? A *bee*ch towel. What did the bee use to get out the tangles? A honeycomb."
"Why was a missile looking for a job? Because it got fired!"
"Why girls live longer than boys???? SHOPPING"" never causes HEART ATTACKS, but,""PAYING the ""BILLS"" does"
"i always wear this epi pen its rly special. my friend gave it to me literally as he was dying it seemed very important to him that i have it"
"Why did the Greenlander get so angry when he didn't win the lottery? Because he was inuit to win it"