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Joke of the Day

"Part of me says, ""I can't keep drinking like this."" While another says ""Don't listen to her, she's drunk."""

"How do you know someone is from California? They tell you."

"What do you call a religious person who gets into x rated movies, but then stops watching them, but then starts watching them again later on? A porn again christian."

"Gabe Newell should be the World President He will prevent World War 3."

"My 4 year old told me to just turn the tire around as the top part isn't flat. I don't care if it's wrong - that's still some great logic."

"Remember, Mondays are fine. It's your life that sucks."

"I'm not into phone sex, the cord always gets stuck in my ass."

"What's the difference between a queer and a refrigerator? A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out!"

"What do you call a Crazy Female Deer? A Doenut"

"Engineers: ""okay, so we agree the space between the seat and the console will allow people to see what they dropped but never retrieve it"""