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Joke of the Day

"My 4 year old told me to just turn the tire around as the top part isn't flat. I don't care if it's wrong - that's still some great logic."

"I'm sorry, but I absolutely detest law firms that do pro bono work. I fucking hate U2."

"Nice Confederate flag bro, way to commemorate coming in second place in a civil war."

"I was trying to convince my friend to go fishing the other day. It took a while to convince her, but then she finally agreed and had fun fishing. She eventually fell for it hook, line, and sinker."

"What do Alan Turing and a well-mixed solution have in common? They're both homo-genius."

"I'm still not sure how the church expects me to do all that kneeling and standing and praying on just that one little wafer they feed you."

"*middle of an argument* Me-There are so many great things to do with a human mouth... ...why waste it on talking. Friend- like what? Me- Motor boating "

"There's no law that says you can't use a tiny pancake as an eyepatch."

"Coup attempt on Turkey from the rear Did Greece help?"

"The Spanish explorers went round the world in a galleon. How many galleons did the get to the mile !"