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Joke of the Day
"Gabe Newell should be the World President He will prevent World War 3."
Next Joke
"If I were gonna give advice about how to survive leaving your phone at home, it would be this: stare at something else. I chose a weird baby"
"Hello, welcome to the evening news, where we're going to scare the shit out of you for 45 minutes, then weather & sports. Stay tuned."
"What does a woman on her period get for free when she takes a bath? Black pudding."
"[marriage counseling] Wife: I just wish he wasn't so clingy Husband: YOU KNEW I WAS A BARNACLE, LINDA"
"What do you call a black man visiting a zoo? a family reunion"
"How did Jack grow his portfolio? He invested in beanstocks!"
"Doctor Doctor I'm a burglar ! Have you taken anything for it ?"
"What do you call a vagina that talks back to you? An answering cervix"
"I took a class in Women's Studies last semester. It was the tits."