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Joke of the Day

"American government is of the people, by the people and for the people. Which begs the question: what is wrong with you people?"

"Nebraska bill allows K - 12 teachers to carry guns to school. In their defense, it is really hard to get a 9 year old to shut the fuck up."

"How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner."

"I know the kids don't like you and pick on you, but you have to go to school... you're the teacher!"

"Go to Starbucks - Order Coffee - Tell them your name is Waldo - Leave"

"It was actually the muslims who invented the C4 explosive... But it was the US:Army who later added a remote detonator."

"What kind of tea isn't fake? A property"

"Why do we call rulers ""Your Highness""? because that's what they measure."

"Pacquiao knocks out Mayweather in the first round!!!!! 2:05 into the first Mayweather goes down!!!"

"Why don't Jedi mathematicians use the absolute value function? Because only a Sith deals in absolutes. ^and ^it's ^non-differentiable ^at ^0"