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Joke of the Day

"[date] Her: ""Well, the horoscopes pretty much govern my life, I'm a sagittarius, what are you?"" Me: *halfway out the door* ""Educated."""

"Saw a sticker that said ""my son was an honor student"". I almost got sad, but then I thought maybe he's not dead, maybe he's just stupid now"

"Waiter there's a dead fly in my soup! What do you expect for $1 - a live one?"

"What was the name of the pakistani hide and seek champion ? 'amhid'"

"What do you call 50Cent in Zimbabwe A millionare"

"Why do monks wear such plain clothes? It's a habit."

"What's the funniest joke that doesn't reference itself? Clearly not this one!"

"Fast way to MESS up someones Knock Knock joke? ""It's open."""

"Report: Underpaid bowling alley employees to go on strike."

"What do you call a dog that's into BDSM? A subwoofer."