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Joke of the Day
"How Does a Racist Joke Start? With a small million dollar loan from his father."
Next Joke
"What does the pussy of an 80 year old woman taste like? Depends...."
"Why's the little boy scarred for life after going to buy his mom some earrings? He went to Jared."
"Why don't ghosts have kids? Because they have Hollow-Weinies"
"*shitting pants, crying, missing my shoe* yoga instructor: you need to leave me: oh is this not child's pose?"
"Hiding my rewards card in the bushes by my coffee shop so I don't have to keep freakin' remembering to bring it"
"Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that Im typing this with my middle finger."
"Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock? I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!"
"[dinner table] gfs dad: so what do you do for a living me: human trafficking *he chokes* gf: he's a crossing guard dad"
"Dad: Did you get gas? Me: Ya i got it on the way home from school Dad: Well if you got gas than you better go to the bathroom!"