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Joke of the Day

"[Struts in lookin fly as heck in my speedo, shower cap and armfull of baby dolls struts out with new understanding of the term baby shower]"

"My girlfriend just texted me this: Babe,myspacebarisbroken.IneedanalternativeASAP! Anybody know what 'ternative' means?"

"I learned about genetic mutation in biology today. It was my first class."

"I turned 18 today so the first thing I did was your mom"

"Needles What are dull needles good for? Nothing, they're pointless."

"What did Tom hanks do in the woods? He took a forrest dump."

"How can you tell if your wife is dead? If the sex stays the same but the dishes pile up."

"I wish there was some way to get rid of the stupid apple in this caramel apple."

"Not really a joke but still funny US air force engineers and aerospace scientists developing the military's newest stealth fighter have approached Malaysia Air for the plans for the missing 777..."

"A man walks up to a woman sitting alone... ...He ask her ""Did you fall from heaven?"" She begins to blush and giggle and replies with a smirk ""Maybe.. Why?"" ""Because you look *really* fucked up."""