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Joke of the Day

"My boss told me to dress for the job I want, not the job I have. Now I'm sitting in a disciplinary meeting in a Batman costume."

"My snowboarding career has really gone downhill."

"At this point, a phone book is just a list of people who recently died in their homes before cancelling their landline."

"I have a fifth sense when it comes to smells."

"I'm starting a magazine called ""Jugs"". It's mostly about pottery."

"lawyer talking under his breath: ""guiltypeoplesaywhat?"" suspect: what? lawyer: no further questions your honor"

"What do you call an aardvark astronaut? A starredvark!"

"What would be a terrible name for a new beer? Q: What would be a terrible name for a new beer? A: ""Mondays""...because no one would EVER want to buy a case of the Mondays..."

"Easter is a sad day for Lance Armstrong He can never seem to find more than one egg"

"I think I just made the best dad joke ever. My son Robbie asked how he should get Poe into his X-wing toy. I said Wedge him. I had no one else to tell."