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Joke of the Day

"Three guys walked into a bar... the fourth one ducked."

"Never date an Aztec woman... They'll rip your heart out :("

"I still use the word ""dude"". I don't give a dude. I don't use it right, but I still dude it."

"The Hotness Scale I went out on a date with a chick the other night. Looks-wise, she was a five, but with her low self esteem, she was a solid seven."

"I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."

"Just played the new Hillary Presidency Simulator I don't know why it's called Fallout 4 though."

"That awkward moment when you realise you have way more internet friends than real friends."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur. Licktalottapuss."

"Whats the difference between a dirts bus stop and a crab with big boobs? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean."

"Women are like helicopters... You know they work and you trust them, but if you make any effort to understand them whatsoever you'd be too terrified to go near them."