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Joke of the Day

"How many /r/news mods does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, but it only takes one to get it [removed]"

"Your mother is deaf I guess that's why she didn't move around a lot."

"What does it say on Billy Mays' s tomb stone? BILLY MAYS HERE!"

"Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Because like most men, they won't stop to ask directions."

"Taking candy from an American baby is, like, really hard."

"Mother's may get a day, but shark's get a whole week! Mom sharks get 1 week AND a day. ...don't even get me started on black shark moms."

"If you are hotter than me, wouldn't that make me cooler than you."

"I grew up in Africa. During the summers, we just had balloon fights."

"When Transformers was filmed in Detroit Michael Bay had to use CGI to repair buildings"

"I'm on a new diet where I can only eat and drink things where I know what the ingredients mean. I can now tell you every ingredients use in Cheetos, how it's obtained, and the molecular structure."