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Joke of the Day

"rroses are red, violets are blue, Valentine's Day was invented by big corporations so they could sell more anti-depressants"

"So I asked my Dad, ""What was on Grandpa's mind when he had that aneurysm?"" ""Probably a tumor."""

"Father in law just made an accidental calculus joke By the time I got to calculus in math, I realized I had reached my limit."

"My cat yells at me like she's my mother."

"A koala, a bear and a panda owned tea shops... But which one was the best? The Koala's, as it was the most Koala-Tea."

"Say no to drugs! Then again, if you're talking to drugs, you're probably already on drugs."

"Stealing candy from your kids is awesome... ...because you can justify your actions by stating that candy is not healthy for them. It's a win-win."

"Why is an Oklahoma divorce like a Texas twister? Somebody's 'bout to lose a trailer."

"Kindergarten reunion??!?!?! I've gained like 100 pounds since then. No way I'm showing up!!!!"

"Who is the roundest knight at King Arthur's table? Sir Cumference."