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Joke of the Day

"Now I'm not saying I plan to be a school shooter... but if I was Dylan.."

"Monsters, Inc. 3: It's harder to make kids laugh The Internet has made them jaded The monster need help They teach the kids to smoke pot"

"How many kids with ADD does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna go ride bikes?"

"Cross posted to r/Christianity"

"*20-something kangaroo calling mom* yea so i thought maybe i could get back in the pouchlike just for a few months til i figure things out"

"I don't understand why whiteboards don't get more recognition.. If you think about, they truly are re-markable!"

"Why is Santa's sack so big? Testicular cancer"

"There are almost no problems that cannot be solved by adding puppies into the equation... except for world hunger...which come to think of it, they can also solve."

"[space mission studying behaviour of snakes on the moon] astronaut: ""we should've taken our own"" astronaut holding net: ""just keep looking"""

"[confessional] me: father, gooey naan. father: what's gooey naan? me: nothing much. what's goin' on with you?"